Dear Mr. Milch: 

Deadwood is easily one of my favorite shows of all time. As a matter of fact, we are re-watching all three seasons right now, keeping a chart for the use of the work c*cksucker. That is actually how we refer to the show (i.e. “Hey, let’s watch the third episode of C*cksucker after dinner tonight.”).

It is a well-documented fact that you are a genius. But John From Cincinnati was a colossal failure.  You should have christened it Driftwood, because it will forever be known as the The Show That Killed Deadwood.  You had to know that regardless of the fact that your new series was nothing like Deadwood it would forever be compared to it. The nail in the coffin is that you killed a brilliant show, only to replace it with a far inferior product.

I understand that John From Cincinnati was your baby, your dream project. Wait…no I don’t. Did you initially only envision three seasons of Deadwood, or did you end that series in order to get John From Cincinnati on the air?

I loved NYPD Blue, which you created and wrote almost every episode of.  Those characters, in that setting, speaking your language? Amazing. And your Shakespearean dialogue worked brilliantly on Deadwood. But it simply distracted from the actors, story and cinematography on John From Cincinnati.   

It seems as if this was your recipe for a 10-episode bucket of JFC:

• Add: 6 recycled actors from Deadwood
• Toss in: 6 sentimental favorites from the 70’s, 80’s & 90’s (Luke Perry from Beverly Hills 90210, Ed O’Neill from Married with Children, Mark-Paul Gosselaar from Saved by the Bell, Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing, Rebecca De Mornay from Risky Business, and [with a wink wink/nudge nudge] Howard Hesseman from WKRP in...Cincinnati)
• Mix in: 1 real-life world champion surfer chick (Keala Kennelly)
• Spice it up with: 2 seasoned character actors (Bruce Greenwood; Double Jeopardy & I, Robot) and (Luis Guzmán; Traffic & Magnolia)
• Sauté all into the most bizarre television show scenario ever

To be frank, the six actors from Deadwood served as painful, frustrating visual reminders of what we’re missing.

Mr. Milch, I am an educated viewer, fully and willingly able to suspend my disbelief. I am currently obsessed with a show where the villain is a moody cloud of black smoke, for crying out loud. And I love the supernatural more than most (hello, my cats are named Mulder & Scully). But in my opinion, John From Cincinnati introduced and crammed far too many elements before allowing the series to simmer.

John from Cincinnati = Jesus Christ?

I am convinced that the religious angle of the show was one of the strongest paths to its demise. If I had to guess, I would venture that most of us who tuned in to your new show were Deadwood fans; people who were acclimated to and enjoyed the sex, violence and foul language for three seasons, and who would not necessarily label themselves as devout or particularly religious. And we were more than familiar with your favorite themes of redemption and salvation. But to presume that we would view John as a living, breathing, surfing incarnation of Jesus Christ was a stretch and a risk.

You don’t need to redeem yourself. You’re David bleeping Milch. But when I read that you are already planning a new series about a police drama set in the Vietnam war era, I reacted with mixed feelings. On one hand, you have proven with both Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue that you bleed law enforcement blue, but on the other hand…it is a sign that those long-overdue Deadwood movies may never get made.

When John From Cincinnati was canceled, I was relieved. You might argue that at least I watched all ten episodes, but now I have that one hour a week back to spend watching something that doesn’t make me scream at the television in anger and disbelief.  

- Jo