1O YEARS AGO TONIGHT: A MILESTONE FOR ELLEN...AND FOR ME
April 30, 1997.
Happy Anniversary, Ellen DeGeneres.
Ten years ago today she officially came out on her sitcom. And, like the 19 women crammed into my one-bedroom apartment to watch along with millions of others that night, I was profoundly affected by her monumental decision to do so.
It pains me to think what life in the television industry would be like today if Ellen had not pried open that door; one that had only been slightly ajar with the weight and hesitation of many actors who cowered behind it, fearful for their careers.
There is a very strong chance that many of my favorite television shows from the last ten years would not have been created, aired, or even possible had Ellen not taken the brave steps that she did in 1997.
I cannot imagine the very first Amazing Race without Team Guido. Arrested Development without the ambiguous and never-nude Tobias Funke. The Office without Oscar the accountant. Project Runway without Tim Gunn. Six Feet Under without David & Keith. Survivor without the naked tax evader, Richard Hatch. [That there have been so very few gay women on reality shows and lesbian characters on television since Ellen is a topic for another blog altogether].
Shows like Will & Grace, the American adaptation of Queer as Folk and The L Word were given the green light only after and because of Ellen’s landmark “Puppy Episode.”
I love that gay and lesbian characters are almost ubiquitous on mainstream and cable television nowadays, to the point where they are almost passé. Even the soap opera All My Children recently featured a transgender character!
As I watched Ellen host the Oscars earlier this year, I was struck by the magnitude of what she was doing, what it represented and how it indicated the current social climate. Granted, it is the entertainment industry. But I was thrilled by how much of a non-issue her sexuality has become. The success of her daily talk show speaks volumes. And I applaud her every step of the way. Ellen is a pioneer and a true role model.
My friend Matt always says that he’s proud of my pride. After April of 1997, when Ellen preceded the coming out episode by declaring “Yep, I’m Gay” on the cover of Time magazine, I was just that much more comfortable. In the community, at work, with family, in my own skin.
Which is why I was finally able to write this article.
It was time to stop hiding behind my blog. From the beginning, I’ve made a concerted effort to keep my identity separate from my online persona and taken great lengths to avoid revealing any details about my personal life on this site. But as I tackle and contemplate writing about controversial topics like the Isaiah Washington debacle on Grey’s Anatomy or the very disconcerting pattern of celebrities who are forced to come out in the media, I realized that my perspective as an out lesbian is important to the entries that I write and publish.
Whew. Publishing this kind of personal information, even if only on my small hobby of a blog with very few readers, is far scarier than coming out to my own family. It is now out there for the eyes of the world.
As Ellen did ten years ago tonight, I suppose this is me, coming out on my blog.
Were you one of the 34 million who watched that episode? Have any significant pop culture moments touched your lives? Believe me, I’d love some feedback on this one.
Hooray Ellen, and Hooray YOU!
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It's true, Ellen did pave the way for many. She made just a few more ignorant folks, just a little less ignorant, and encouraged a lot of people to just "be proud." But knowing you Jo, you would have found your way "even more comfortable in your own skin" on your own.
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Good for you Jo! I'm proud of you for writing this entry. Love Ellen, love you!
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Oh yes, I remember that party. I think I had more fun 10 years ago than I do now! Ellen's coming out episode was a bittersweet moment because I had enjoyed all the shows leading up to that moment with all the "inside jokes." It felt like we were letting the rest of the world in on our joke and it was nice to have had something to ourselves - but I also realize it was a watershed moment. There might not be an L word today if not for Ellen. I was watching Ellen's talk show last week and she said Oprah caught alot of slack for her appearance on that show and Laura Dern didn't work for a year. I can't believe it was only 10 years ago - seems like we've still got a ways to go....
Replay for good times (Ellen's airport confession to Laura Dern):
ELLEN: You know how you said in the room, you know, that you thought, maybe I was, you know, and I said, “no, no, no, no,” well, I was thinking about it, and I think that maybe I am, er, I am ... I guess what I'm trying to say is ... I did get the joke about the toaster oven.
SUSAN: Are you saying what I think you're trying to say?
ELLEN: What do you think I'm trying to say?
SUSAN: Oh, I'm not going to say it again and be wrong.
ELLEN: No, you're not wrong. You're right. This is so hard. But I think I've realized that I am ... I can't even say the word. Why can't I say the word, I mean, why can't I just say ... I mean, what is wrong, why do I have to be so ashamed, why can't I just see the truth, I mean, be who I am, I'm thirty-five years old... I'm so afraid to tell people. I mean, I'm just...Susan... (Ellen turns back towards Susan, putting one hand on the counter and accidentally pressing the PA system) I'm gay.
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Jo, I'm touched and humbled by your honesty! Thanks so much for sharing with us.
The truth is that I was far too young when that show aired to really get the meaning of it. I've had the distinct pleasure of growing up in a world where sexuality isn't the be all end all. I love it. I love the progress. I love the hope for the future!
Oh, and I love you!
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